Relationship Guy

My Assumption was wrong from the start ~ Always go to Spirit first!

This reading was for a friend. A guy who had gone from one relationship to another to another. Every time, the woman would eventually leave him. And then he'd go right into the next relationship.

I remember thinking before the reading even started: "Gosh, this guy really needs to learn how to be on his own."

I had it all figured out in my head. He was clearly codependent. Clearly avoiding himself. Clearly using relationships to fill some void. The reading would probably show him that he needed to sit with himself, do the inner work, learn to be comfortable alone.

I was so confident in this assessment that I almost didn't ask if I could tap into his energy. But something made me ask anyway: "Do you think I could tap into your energy and see what's going on there?"

He agreed.

And I discovered I was TOTALLY WRONG.

The Reading - Romantic Connection as Purpose

When I first entered his energy I told Anne, I think I'm a hobo... like from the rail car hobo days. I saw him sitting in an empty rail car feeling SO lonely. He was just LONGING for romantic connection. It felt like the song.. of course I don't remember the name of it but the lyrics that came into my mind were, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat worms." (Often Spirit gives me songs so I better understand an emotion or experience).

In that past lifetime I tried to connect with women but every time I talked to them or approached them I was rebuffed.

I felt the stream begin to flow me from this past life into his current life which began with the experience of his mother dying when he was a teenager. That experience was hold over from the past life of, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me..." Spirit showed me that when he came into this lifetime he brought in too much of that loneliness.

Then Spirit hit me with his purpose - his actual SOUL PURPOSE is to be in romantic connection! Not to overcome codependency. Not to find himself first before finding someone else.

His purpose IS romantic relationships.

However - and this was the key part - NOT to be abused by it either.

Spirit showed me that in his first relationships, he gave in too easily. He bent himself to be and do what the other person wanted. He abandoned his own needs, his own boundaries, his own preferences to keep the relationship going.

And THAT'S why they kept leaving him.

Not because being in relationships was wrong for him. But because he wasn't holding his boundaries WITHIN the relationships.

Spirit was clear: He is meant to be in romantic relationships. And when he holds his boundaries, that person will stay. And they will be very happy.

His Response

The friend looked at me with this mixture of relief and vindication and said, "I TOLD you I'm not meant to be alone!"

He'd been hearing from everyone - including me before this reading - that he needed to take time for himself. That he was rushing into things. That he needed to figure out who he was outside of a relationship.

But that advice, while well-meaning, was completely wrong for HIM.

His essence didn't come here to learn independence. It came here to learn partnership WITH boundaries.